You did it, you finally got yourself to quit smoking or quit biting your nails, or you gave up sugar – woot-woot! You’ve been going four weeks strong; everything is going great. You feel better than ever. The sun is shining; there’s a breeze in the air, you don’t catch yourself thinking about your next drag or when that next sugar high will come. You’ve done it. You broke your habit once and for all. But wait, what’s that off in the distance? It’s a family get together; it’s a night out with the girls, it’s a breakup, it’s self-sabotage.
Funny how sabotage sneaks up on us this way. Everything is going good; it’s going great then bam! This thing comes out of nowhere and knocks you off your rocker. All your efforts are strewn across the ground like dropped loose change. You hear each effort bounce off the ground like it’s laughing at you for thinking you could do it this time. You tell yourself this time is different, you’ve done so well. What the hell happened!?
Welcome to what most people call self-sabotage
I don’t believe in self-sabotage. I believe people tell themselves stories to create an experience they desire. People experience what they want to be experiencing.
You see, when we start something new to change who or how we are, we go into it with false expectations, OR we go into already thinking we’re going to fail.
Or, we go into it full-hearted. It’s going great then that one small thing happens that makes us question our efforts and our one tiny set back feels like Mount Everest, and we shame ourself.
Newsflash: you haven’t failed. You just provided yourself feedback, and you’re winning the game you set out to win.
What if you chose to think of this ‘failure’ as a learning block rather than a setback?
What if we think of these moments as winning the game we’re playing? If thought of from this perspective we’re not sabotaging ourself, we’re setting ourself up for success, for what’s to come.
Related article: How to Make Time for the Most Important Things in Your Life
Have you ever played a game? Any game – Halo, tennis, football, chess, etc.
How does a game work?
You play off the strategies you know, and you observe the other player’s actions and along the way, you notice your opponent’s strategy, and you begin to anticipate their next move. This is the same thing! Your mind is your opponent and it knows when to make its move.
Have you ever heard successful people are resilient?
Success is largely determined by resilience.
– Stacey Morgenstern –
I love this quote and it’s true of your health, wealth, relationships, work, sports, business, anything. You’re doing great and then have a sudden setback, fall off the wagon, become demotivated and quit doing what was working so well for you then your success rate will naturally decline.
Leave a comment below and let me know what you do when these things happen. Do you throw in the towel or do you pick yourself up and say, how can I do this better next time?